To Muslims everywhere

If you're going to rise up and take over America one of the first things you need to do is deeply embrace our culture and customs. This way it will look like you're fitting in. I strongly recommend that you fully Embrace Santa Claus. Buy lots of gifts at Christmas time and give them to each other. You don't have to give them to people of other religions unless you just really want to look like you're all in. This way we'll never see it coming. All your neighbors will say, they celebrated Santa Claus and everything, we never saw it coming.

If you absolutely want to take it to the next level tell everyone "Merry Christmas!" rather than happy holidays. People will think that you're a radical wholehearted American.

You might have to back off on the "Merry Christmas". After thinking about it, when I say Merry Christmas to people, sometimes they actually look afraid of me.